[This post is the first of four on the topic of raising a
bullying or harassment complaint.
You can put all four essay together by clicking here.]
bullying or harassment complaint.
You can put all four essay together by clicking here.]
Do not accept being mistreated.
This isn't about one outburst, it is about repeated conduct. Because bad habits don't usually fade away, I suggest that you make your dissatisfaction clear — here's how:
- Make an appointment.
- Don't make it apparent that your complaint is the topic: "I would like to speak with you about this morning's meeting. I only need 2 minutes."
- Don't discuss your complaint on the phone: "I would feel more comfortable speaking to you in person."
- Meet privately.
- Rehearse what you plan to say.
- In the meeting, be direct. For example: "I was disappointed that you spoke over me at this morning's meeting. It' s happened before, and then, as now, I found it humiliating."
- Don't attribute motives. Don't debate. Don't ask for an apology.
- After making your point, get up from your chair, thank the person for affording you the time, and leave.
This isn't a plea, it's notice.
Later that day write an email: "Thank you for meeting with me this afternoon. It was important for me to make my concern clear. Regards." Do not revisit the substance, that will only elicit a denial.
If the behaviour continues, then it's time to get professional assistance. ▪
The strongest bond of human sympathy,
outside of the family relation,
should be one uniting all working people,
of all nations, and tongues,
—Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) 16th US President
