Squeaky wheel - Pt 4

[This post is the fourth of four on the topic of raising a
bullying or harassment complaint.
You can put all four essay together by clicking here.]

More than at any point, at the end you must keep your eye on the prize. And the 'prize' is that the improper conduct ends.

It's unlikely there'll be a satisfying apology. Any "apology" will be cloaked in qualification and weasel words: "I'm sorry if you took offense at my words...I certainly didn't intend to give offense...." If asked whether you're willing to accept such an apology say, "It's adequate only if it is tied to a commitment to end the improper conduct."

It's even less likely that there will be justice for past injuries. Respondents, in jeopardy of a disciplinary charge, rarely admit improper conduct. It will have to be enough for you to say to yourself, or to others, "the respondent and I know the truth of it."

When the appropriate commitment comes, grab it, even if wrapped in an unattractive package. It may look something like: "Without any admission of improper conduct, the respondent agrees that he/she shall not...."

Get it in writing, or confirm it in writing.

Finally, however, you must then accept that you have achieved what you set out to do — so it's done.

Call a friend, go out for a coffee. ▪

The problem isn't when the bean-counters
tell you what you can afford.
The problem is when they tell you what to want.
—Yllib Ybnad (b. 1948)